The holidays are here once again. And we think it's safe to say this 4/20 will be one of the 4/20-est 4/20s that has ever 4/20'ed.
Not only is it 4/20 every single day of the month (April 2020. Try to keep up, son). But this 4/20, in an unexpected plot twist, everyone is stuck in their house with nothing to do.
We have a few suggestions for how to pass the time. Well... one suggestion. And to make it a little easier, we've stuffed the entire month full of sales fatter than a chocolate eclair.
12% Off Vapes
Ends: April 8, 2020
Vaping is one of the best inventions the smoking industry has ever experienced since the Big Bang invented anything at all. Right now, you can enjoy a 12% discount on all vaporizers sitewide.
Today might be the best day to finally splurge on a desktop vaporizer like highly sought-after Puffco Peak, the Dr. Dabber SWITCH, or (my personal favorite) the bluetooth-enabled FocusV Carta. E-rigs are becoming smaller, more affordable, and more technologically advanced than ever before. Show one to your grandpa and make sure you have a mop for when his brain explodes.
15% Off Water Pipes
Starts: April 9, 2020
Where would we be as a species without the bong? Let's not think about it. Beginning on April 9, 2020, you can enjoy a 15% discount on water pipes across the site. Tonight is the perfect night to go, "Oops!" and "accidentally" push that old Goodwill bong right off your coffee table (by the way, I love your coasters).
I know what you're thinking. And that's disgusting. She's your mother! What you SHOULD be thinking is, "But, Mr. Smoke Cartel Employee, I don't need a bong. They are all the same." So that I can laugh in your face at your naïveté.
Maybe you could use an indestructible silicone bong like Roll-Uh-Bowl, which has a suction cup base and can be literally rolled up for storage. OR, since you have such great taste, an ornamental and beautiful work of art like those produced by My Bud Vase or China Glass.
4/20 Mega Sale
April 20, 2020
It doesn't stop there. But we don't want to give anything away. Let's just say you'd better get that mop out again before, during, and after 4/20.
They say that hindsight is always 20/20, which is why wanted to make your foresight 4/20 instead. From our quarantined households to yours, we wish you the merriest of 4/20/20s.